Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

by | May 23, 2023 | Uncategorized

Victim mode can be very tempting if you are under attack from someone.
 
It is a pattern that those of us who have been extensively bullied in our lives may resort to.
 
What is YOUR first response? For me, my first reaction is HURT, confusion, WHY? WHAT DID I DO WRONG to that extent that you are attacking me.
 
I have spent many years working on NOT GOING INTO VICTIM mode. But, just briefly, for a split second I went there before I caught myself. It felt familiar like an old friend. But that feeling is not an old friend at all … it is a state created by external forces that you didn’t understand at the time. But I DO UNDERSTAND NOW!
 
So I caught myself very quickly … In the past it took years to identify this pattern …. Not now … I hear myself say STOP … you are not the victim. This is someone else projecting their SHIT onto you and blaming you for their inadequacies, their stories and their need to hurt someone else for their shortfalls.
 
The consequences of their actions are not just affecting me … there are wider implications than that.
 
SO, if I am not in victim mode what mode am I in? I need to think calmly about this question. Do I keep quiet about this or do I speak out and get the advice and support of others. I kept quiet in the past BUT WHERE DID THAT GET ME? That’s right, nowhere.
 
So I decided to connect with the gorgeous groups I belong too friends I have made along the way, yes please, I need your support and you have supported me WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, only acceptance and love.
 
From this place on non-judgement, this place of acceptance I can feel calm and begin to work out my strategy for dealing with this unpleasant intrusion into MY LIFE. I will jump through the necessary hoops only because I have no choice, BUT I will be exonerated and there will be consequences for the hurt this has caused.
 
For those who find themselves in similar situations please REMEMBER victim mode does not serve you, there is always a way out, you just have to look for the EXIT signs … I promise you if you look hard enough you will find them and you will resolve the situation and Survive. And move on from a place of power.
 
Much love.
Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

If You Want Expansion Get Out of The Comfort Zone

by | May 23, 2023 | Uncategorized

The past 2 days I have felt off kilter, a little edgy, nervous perhaps of something, not sure what that something is or WAS.
 
But if left me feeling flat, was I lacking excitement? Perhaps, but I wasn’t in the mood for Excitement either.
 
Did I really want to work at the business I am setting up? Too much effort, too hard … I am tired, it would be easier to just sit all day, read a book, go for a walk, sounds nice.
 
In reality NOT ME! I would be bored in a couple of days.
 
Imposter syndrome, not worthy, not good enough perhaps was the underlying cause if I looked deep enough into my heart space instead of between my ears in my head space.
 
I listened to a recording of a group I am in tonight and someone else was experiencing this feeling of ‘not being worthy’ and I wanted to shout out to her that she is worthy, that I see her amongst her confusion and pain, I wanted to give her a great big hug.
 
My realisation was to turn this on myself and reflect around my feelings of not being worthy.
 
I ran my first ever zoom group today, some lovely people wanted to know about what I did during my cancer healing journey with my DIET when I discovered it, what I did after that and what I do now in my remission phase.
 
I admit, I was nervous, what if it was boring? What if I couldn’t remember what to say or know what to say. What if I couldn’t work the technology what if I FAILED?
 
As the time approached, I had my ‘Props’ around me and some notes I had put together and the Zoom session began. As soon as I let people into the ‘room’ I suddenly felt at ease at the lovely smiley faces that had joined me. We talked for 2 hours and have another one booked for a month’s time.
 
I realised that I was worthy, that I have something to contribute to the world and if I dig deep that’s where the magic happens and we find out things about ourselves that we didn’t previously know.
 
So, if YOU are feeling like I was today, dig deep and know that others will see you as worthy and want to hear YOUR story TOO.
 
Expansion DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE COMFORT ZONE
Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

Keeping on Top of Your Health is Exhausting

by | May 23, 2023 | Uncategorized

Keeping on top of your health is exhausting when you have had a major health scare.
 
Today I went for my ANNUAL THERMOGRAPHY session, a 4 hour round trip. Laughing with the technician as I am sat on a squeaky swivel stool, top half naked with my arms in the air!
 
Swivel this way, swivel that way, you have gone too far!!
 
You have to take humour into this JOURNEY…. around this time of year… spring time I have a series of tests and consultations to make sure I am keeping on top of MY health.
 
It has really hit home to me that I alone am responsible for MY HEALTH. In truth no-one else is truly interested in the DAY-TO-DAY stuff it’s up to us to NOTICE, to listen to our bodies to see if they are out of kilter OR Need some attention, to monitor our thoughts, our feelings … emotions, I learnt recently the IMPACT the word RESENTMENT has on our physical bodies.
 
It is one up from HATE not a happy state to keep your vibration at and causes your body great stress to live in a STATE of RESENTMENT and general exhaustion – a feeling of great tiredness.
 
I am shifting this from my consciousness and my new MANTRA is ‘IT IS WHAT IT IS’ …. 5 little words that shift me from resentment to calm and freedom.
 
I think this word, feeling, state has contributed hugely to my ill health over the past 6.5 years. At first I thought this was impossible BUT it is the last thing I thought of which may have contributed to my ill health.
 
I have cleaned up my diet to a saintly level! I don’t drink alcohol any more, I do plenty around my mindset, giving gratitude daily for my life. I walk outside in nature, I go in the sea, I see my friends BUT something was definitely missing.
 
Ha! I have found you now, so I am practicing living in a state without resentment …. I have to catch myself when I go there … but I do, and I will,  everyday from now on in. It has no place in my body anymore.
 
Persistence wears down resistance, IT REALLY DOES. 
 
Being aware of your health can be exhausting but when you get it right your health can be amazing.
 
After all, all our bodies really WANT is to BE WELL. TREAT your BODY with LOVE
Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

Navigating an Early Breast Cancer Diagnosis

by | May 23, 2023 | Uncategorized

For those of us who have received a breast cancer diagnosis what was your first feeling when you were told?
 
Was it fear? Confusion? Disbelief? Did all the medical jargon MAKE SENSE to you?
 
I was PERSONALLY confused and sat there in disbelief. ME? Surely NOT ME!!
 
The FEAR angle crept in like an unseen enemy.
 
I would like to ask you a Question.
 
What was your feeling about it on your return home? Did you want to follow the path the Oncologist laid out for you OR did you wonder for a second if there was another way to approach this first?
 
I felt the LATTER – the direction of the TREATMENT didn’t sit well with me. I have said this before, I know, BUT cancer doesn’t appear overnight. So why does it become the enemy to be FOUGHT AND REMOVED so QUICKLY?
 
Everything around cancer in the media is termed a battle. My idea was to give myself time, make MYSELF MY PROJECT and work out my way through this with an informed approach to healing. If you find YOURSELF in the same situation as me, would you consider having a relaxed chat with ME to see if my Breathing Space information/guidance programme could be of BENEFIT to you?
 
If you do, then please contact me and we can arrange a touch base call to see what we can do together.
 
Healing is a curious thing that our bodies can do – it’s miraculous really the ability we all have inside to heal.
 
We need to work as a collective being considering all parts of ourselves mind, body, soul and above all believe 100% that we can begin the change before we decide on which path is the best for ourselves.
 
It doesn’t matter which path holistic, conventional or integrative but we must first start with US to begin the process of healing.
 
Our emotional state plays a huge role in this too and must never be underestimated in the healing space. Our bodies listen to every thought we make, every judgment we make, every emotion we feel about ourselves.
 
We have to move forward from a place of positivity, curiosity and to the greatest extent possible, without FEAR.
Victim Mode Can be Very Tempting

One of My First Memories

by | May 23, 2023 | Uncategorized

When I was very young I don’t know what age but old enough to remember, I had an ‘”EXPERIENCE“, someone/another life form opened the lid to a large box and put me inside.
 
I remember looking up at them and not making any sense of it. They said to me
“Always remember that it will all be alright in the End”
 
THEN THEY SHUT THE LID and it went dark.
 
I have never experienced the lid opening again up until now … I think I am understanding
how life works … I wouldn’t say that I have had the easiest of lives. It’s been  full of trauma pain and sadness, but also much joy and excitement.
 
Very low lows and very high highs, the one thing that kept me going through the dark times was that “voice”. It wasn’t actually a voice but more of a FEELING, “Always remember that it will all be alright in the end”.
 
Each time I hit a brick wall or a bad patch this belief got me through. A strong belief that you can CONQUER anything, can just simply get you through until you reach the other side.
 
Life is about peaks and troughs, when you are at the very bottom of the trough and you look up at the long, high sides any movement seems impossible.
 
BUT keep it simple put one foot in front of the other before you know it (and this may take
many years on this planet to understand this) you are at the TOP looking at the beautiful view.
 
I am reaching a point in my life after the worst six and a half years of ill health, including a totally unexpected breast cancer diagnosis, that I am nearing the top of my peak.
 
I have believed for 63 years that “it will all be alright in the end” And I think that is true, the lid has started to lift and the most amazing life is now pouring in 💙
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