I have just completed The CPD Standards Office CPD accredited activity: End of Life Plan Facilitators Training Programme delivered by Before I Go Solutions.
My learnings through this process have been eye opening and especially my learnings around Powers of Attorney (PoA) for Health & Welfare, and Property & Finance.
BE VERY CAREFUL who you appoint as your PoA’s. Usually we appoint either 2 or 3 people we TRUST and here lies the big issue TRUST.
I live with and care for my mother who has alzheimer’s. We have been living together with the extended family for 2 ½ years now and we are all happy with this decision. Prior to this we have always been very close.
Recently the other person on the PoA who sees my mother 4 days a year has decided to lodge a complaint against me with the Office of the Public Guardian.
To be clear on this, this is a very serious allegation but, as I am finding out, not uncommon!
The OPG has a duty to investigate extensively.
The HURT, BETRAYAL, confusion and upset this has caused MY family is beyond comprehension, and all based on the so called hearsay of someone not in touch with the day-to-day situation of caring for someone with alzheimer’s dementia.
Someone who is PLAYING on the fact that my mother’s powers of RECOLLECTION are not as good as they were. Frightening my mother so much that she is terrified that she may be taken away from our lovely home and PUT IN A CARE HOME. SHAME ON YOU other PoA.
I now have to “defend” myself which involves hours of paperwork, engaging legal advice as the legal speak around matters with OPG are quite frankly mind blowing – having to prove my innocence
.
Being put under the spotlight when I have done nothing wrong, apart from providing MY OWN MOTHER WITH HER BEST LIFE POSSIBLE.
The other PoA has freedom to live life as they see fit I DO NOT have this freedom I can’t go away on holidays, I have to make sure there is always someone around if I want to go out for the day or an overnight stay. MY LIFE IS ON HOLD right now. So I do not need this added complication to an already complicated life.
The one thing that SCREAMS out about this to me is that it is all about money. IT IS NOT about my mother’s health & welfare.
Just put simply, the other person is worried that all ‘their money’ (future projection here) is being spent ON PROVIDING my mother with a good quality of life that she wants. It was her decision to live this way. Why does my mother not have the right to spend her hard earned money on what SHE WANTS?
In the harsh light of day, if my mother was in a home, it would cost a damn site more than it does living with me. So where would the money be then? Spent on care home fees, the family home being sold to finance this etc. etc.
So, when considering setting up your own Power of Attorneys, take a long hard look at the people you appoint. Above all make sure that they get on together well and can work 100% together in the future care of YOU.
